Ok I know it’s been a while
When I decided to have a break back in July, I thought it would be for a couple of weeks… top.
But as the days went by, I felt sicker and also less inspired to continue what I was sharing on my Instagram account.
Maybe it was only temporary. So I just went on with it.
I was practicing yoga less often and felt lost again: here I was at 32 years old, still not knowing what to do with my life.
How dramatic… 😄 Well now I can laugh about it but at this period, I was feeling depressed.
Was I pregnant?
With Davidson, we were trying for baby #2 since February. I never had regular cycles, so anytime I was around 35 days with no period, I’d try a pregnancy test. I don’t know if it’s psychological or what, but then the next day my period would arrive. And this happened 2 or 3 times 😤😄
So in July when I felt depressed and like it was the end of the world, I thought that maybe it was because NOW I was pregnant and not just symptoms of incoming period.
Before trying again another test though, I waited until I had more pregnancy symptoms like puking. After throwing up for 2 days in a row, I felt it was time to pee on yet another stick. And as I was waiting for the 2 bars to appear, deep down I already knew the answer.
It finally made sense why I was feeling so down. My hormones were all over the place 😵
And now what?
As I’m writing this post, I’m 5 months pregnant. And I’ve been practicing yoga again sparingly since September. It’s not as intense as it used to be and almost no inversions for now. I prefer to take things slow and focus more on meditation.
I definitely lost some flexibility and strength and to be honest, I was feeling afraid to practice again and to see how much I’d lost. Although I knew it was completely irrational, I just couldn’t help it.
After I pep talked myself for many days, I came back on my mat. I could barely hold my downward dog but as I was moving through my practice, I felt happy to be there. The fear was gone and I was enjoying my time 🙂
What will happen to my IG account?
I haven’t decided yet.
Since I stopped publishing, I never recorded my practice.
Maybe I’ll get back at recording again at least so I can check my progress.
For now, all I want is to enjoy my free time while there’s only one toddler to take care of 😂