On my c-cut
On my first week as a mom, I was blaming myself for not having been able to deliver my baby naturally.
“Did I do something wrong during my pregnancy?”; “Maybe I should’ve made more exercises to prepare the birth.”; “Maybe I should’ve taken the epidural right when we arrived at the hospital instead of waiting until I couldn’t hold on the pains anymore…”
Both my daughter and I were safe and sound after the c-cut, yet, I was still feeling guilty. And it was killing me inside.
At some point, I would just cry or get mad for nothing. My attention was 100% on my daughter. Whatever I felt inside of me wasn’t that important. I wanted to be happy but I couldn’t. And it made me feel even worse. It was a never ending loop…
Message to myself: it’s not selfish to take care of myself first, it’s necessary.